Alone on a Hill

I once set out to see if I could run 50 miles. Halfway through I sat down on the side of a grassy hill along a trail outside the woods. I felt tired, alone, and defeated. I was covered in mud; my shoes were soaking wet; and the spring weather left me shivering if I stopped for too long. I remember laying my head in the grass and looking up at the sky and yelling, “What now?! What am I supposed to do now?!” The only thing I heard back was the echo of my own voice.

Looking back, I often wonder if the question I yelled at the time had anything to do with running at all, although admittedly, running for hours alone in the woods does make you question many things. Either way, it's okay to ask hard questions.

Years later, I often think about that time I sat alone on the side of a hill. Perhaps we have all had one of those "what-do-I-do-now?!" moments, even if it didn't take being in the middle of a cold, wet and muddy 50 mile run to get there. I think the answers are always around us, although we might not often hear, see or feel them right away. Sometimes it takes going through something uncomfortable to know what we need to do next.

I'm glad I kept going.